ANSWER: It is not always easy to return to the congregation, especially if one has been parted for a long period of time – as in your case.
The elders like to see a commitment, which can only be demonstrated by regular meeting attendance. As it stands the reason the elders have probably not contacted you is because they have not seen the commitment on your part yet. Since you wish to be part of the congregation again you have to show it by assuming that you are a member again – just in a disfellowshipped state at the moment. And you can generally make a pest of yourself by periodically asking the elders what you need to do be formally reinstated, besides regular meeting attendance.
I think it is especially fine that you wish to be there when things blow up. That is a good motive. Some may wish to be reinstated just for family reasons. But whether you are ultimately reinstated or not your salvation does not depend upon your standing with the congregation. As you say, you are searching for Jehovah. That is what God requires. “Seek Jehovah. Seek meekness. Seek righteousness.”
In your case, though, seeking Jehovah and seeking meekness ought to involve going to meetings – not just so that you can be reinstated, but as an opportunity to put spiritual things first and demonstrate your earnestness, not necessarily to men, but to God.
Don’t be disheartened. Things are going to change soon. And when they do he that is first will be last and the last first. Hopefully, you might be somewhere in between.