Jehovah’s Witnesses watchman › Forums › Watchman Forum › Sever Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder / Abusive Husband › Reply To: Sever Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder / Abusive Husband
Frank thank you for your concern but I am not in distress at this time concerning alcohol or suicide . I am here for support for the reasons I drink which are abuse and the issues in my religion as a inactive JW who has left two times before and reinstated two times for the same underlying issues (abuse and how it is handled by elders causing me intense panic when seeing JW’s or going to the hall). I am not currently drinking. I live in a small community where there is no help for me and the situation is one I have looked into many times. I feel that if I can find a reason to live and if I can form friendships where I am not muzzled about the truths I see or have been through in life, if I can find a purpose or understanding of why Jehovah is so confusing to me more than ever even though I know my bible well, the drinking will be easy to quit. I have tried every belief system and whenever I am trying for one, well I have more power to control anything I need to work on in my life. Without hope their is no will. I am not planning to kill myself I regret writing about the alcohol and not wanting to live as it over shadows my reason for being here an makes me want to flee this place. I have to admit though that the information and videos thus far have made a lot of sense especially “The Eye Of Horus” Video as this has disturbed me for some time. I am hoping we can move past the focus on how I live my life in which i do not get drunk i just am dependent on alcohol to cope until I come to terms with the question “What Am I going to do with my life now that I am AWAKE?” I sincerely hope I do not come off rude. I have been through things no one would believe and those things have made me oh so very tired.